14 May 2008

this and that

I miss Sophia. I miss her big lopsided eyes, her cheeky grin even her shouts or screams? of anger and frustration when she can't get her way. I know - I saw her only last week but I guess its like that with a grandchild. When we were at the restaurant the other day and she made a bit of fuss, and Poh ling scolded her, I felt terrible. As if my heart was aching. I can't bear to see her look sad and she did look sad and hurt and she cried pitiously. It was as if she understood that her mother was angry with her. I guess she does understand.
Is this how my mum in law felt last time when I scolded Rizal or Wan? It must be. I remember once I beat Wan in front of my father in law and he looked very hurt and he quickly carried Wan away from me. I was angry because I felt he was interfering with my style of raising children. I think that must be what Pohling feels too. I really don't like to see her scolding Sophia - after all she is only a baby. But I suppose these young people must be thinking the same thing that I thought when I was their age! And since Rizal is away so much she must feel that it is up to her to discipline the child. But then again she is only a baby - not even 10 months yet.
Today is my third day at UM. This time around I got a smaller class and there are only two boys. I get the feeling that this class is very immature and very young. I know its only the third day and its early days yet but they do look like they have just finished SPM! Their spoken English is ok but their written work is really atrocious. My work is cut out for me. Looks like I may have to start from the basics.
You know, I was just lying down and resting my feet after work today when I happen to glance outside. Its quite simply beautiful, the view from my bedroom. The wide expanse of green that meets the eye is such a welcome sight after being in town driving. This is one of the reasons why my husband and I prefer to live in this part of town, in spite of friends saying we live at the back of beyond. I just love these hills, the green forest that seems to go on forever and in the background, the lofty cliffs of Melawati. Yes, nowadays instead of an infinity of green we can see patches of raw red earth, at times even bald patches that can be a real eyesore, but luckily the green is still there. When we first moved to the area more than 20 years ago this place was a naturalist's idea of heaven. Once at night we even saw a kancil - a mousedeer, not the perennial little devil you see on the roads. And there are lots of "burong ayam ayam" -on the hill slopes. On rainy days it can be as cool as in the highlands. Sometimes you'd even need a sweater at night. Of course, that was twenty years ago. Progress has changed all that.

1 comment:

Grel Mathias said...

Hmm... yeah thanks for beating me Ma. You made me who I am today... a well-adjusted man with millionaire dreams. Hehe.