Some laughs

I got this from Merle's Third Try

A Mountain Wings item about 6th graders answers
to questions that I copied and pasted here as it
looked like too much typing. Some are very funny. Kids say (and write) the darndest things! Reading this I amost toppled over with laughter...


-- MountainWings       A MountainWings Moment #3022          Wings Over The Mountains of Life -------------------------------------------------  Sixth Grade Research ===================== 

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

3. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw.

9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen."  As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Fransis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet is an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote "Donkey Hote."  The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost."  Then his wife died and he wrote "Paradise Regained."

13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

14. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large.

16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

Thank you Merle! You really made my day!

Eleven things...

It's been a thoroughly busy week - I was up to Kuala Lumpur twice this week and  every day up at 5.00 am and sleep at 1.00 am. Yesterday it was 2.00 am. Why you might ask? Well, first my husband lives in KL and visits me twice a week. He's there because he is still working and his office is there. I was there until last October when my youngest daughter Maisarah  graduated and was posted to the General Hospital in Malacca. As a new houseman, her work hours are horrible - 16 or 18 hours a day! From 6.30 am till 11.45 pm and she says there's so much work they have no time to rest or even eat. So being the concerned and caring mum that I am I stay with her, make sure she at least gets some hot food when she gets home from work and in every way make things as easy for her as I can. After all Malacca is also our home - its our hometown and we have a house here. The place in KL is only an apartment so no place to garden or do anything. Here at least I can do what I like best - garden!

And yesterday while going through the other blogs I saw Izdiher's call for the eleven things to answer. They are the following:

1.You look like ?


2.You live like ?


3.Where are your keys?


4.How much money do you have in your pockets at any moment?


5.You love those places where ......... ?


6.Where is Africa?


7.You are hooked to ?


8.What came first egg or hen?


9.Why Zebra wears striped dress ?


10.Why the sun is yellow?

11.Your dream bf/gf is ?

 To tell the truth I don't know how to answer those questions!  But I will try...
 
Okay, number 1 - what do I look like? Is it fair to just paste my photo and let others decide? - Hmmm... is it cheating? So okay never mind I look like me - quite fair for a Malay, small sharp nose, normal shaped mouth and not very tall. Brown hair and eyes (natural ), Okay looking for a middle aged woman - a lot of people have thought me 10 years younger than I actually am! ha ha ha
 
How do I live? - Like a queen!  LOL  No... just a thought - if only - but how do queens live anyway? I'm a wife and mother so I guess I live like most of them - I clean and cook and keep house, I go shopping, I play games on the internet with my friends and I read Facebook. (very conservative Izdiher!)
 
My keys? What sort of question is that? They are where they always are - on the cabinet in the living room.
 
Money - that depends... but because I'm a housewife and do all my own shopping and groceries I keep a decent amount in my purse - I hate going to the ATM often.
 
I love places which has the 4 seasons - winter, spring, summer and autumn. Because my country has only 2 seasons - hot and wet and hot and wet - I appreciate any place that has changes in climate. I've lived in the US for a while and enjoyed the changing of the seasons.Even though sometimes I hated the winter months because its always cloudy and cold and it gets dark very early but I still enjy  the cold.
 
Africa? Hmmm how do I answer that? Look at the world map - you'll know then. It's somewhere west of Malaysia but east of America?
 
Oh I'm hooked to so many things - farm Story on the Ipad, blogging, gardening, reading, music of the early 60s...(Does that make me conservative) And I love to dance - only I do it at home...
 
Which comes first - chicken or egg? That's the eternal question Izdiher! One can never be sure! If I knew I'm sure I'd be a millionaire now...
 
Why does the zebra wear striped dress? To go to a party?
 
Why is the sun yellow? It only looks yellow, it's actually not - its just a ball of fire ( I think so anyway)
 
My dream b/f - I'm already married honey, so I have my dream b/f - he's smart (very smart since he's VP in a university), he's still good looking after 4 kids and almost 40 years of marriage, he's kind and loving although quite lazy in doing housework - and he can sing and has a good sense of humour which is very important in any relationship. But maybe I'd love to have Brad Pitt as a b/f (in my dreams of course since I'm no Angelina Jolie).
 
So my questions are:
 
1. What's your idea of a dream wedding?
2. What are your favourite books to read?
3 Who are your favourite heroes (from books, movies etc)
4.What would you do if you could control the world?
5. What is your favourite colour?
6.Why did the chicken cross the road?
7. Do you read all books till the end or do you skip pages and see the ending?
8. If you could be somebody for one day who would you be?
9. Which country do you want to see the most?
10. If you could live your life all over again are there things you would do or not do?
11. If you were stranded on a deserted island, what things (3 only) would want to have with you?
 
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