Long distance relationships

Its not easy maintaining a long distance relationship - with anybody - least of all with family. Our family is in three parts lately - three in Kuala Lumpur ( my husband, eldest girl and second boy); my youngest daughter and I are in Malacca and the third part - sometimes quite painful for me - my eldest boy, his wife and their little girl Sophie who are in Singapore. I have written about Sophie a number of times, about how proud I am of her, how much I miss her and wish I can see her more often. Yes, I miss my husband too - and my eldest girl but at least I see them every week or two. I have not seen Sophia for at least a month now. Singapore may not be far, it is only 4 hours away by road after all. However, distance is not what matters but time, for I am tied down by other considerations, namely Sarah my girl who is now a fresh houseman at the General Hospital in Malacca - seeing to her safety, her food and generally taking care of her. I've missed out on that when she was away studying in Russia for 6 years, so I want to be with her for a while, just mothering her.

As for Sophia, my grand daughter - it just breaks my heart when the last time I visited them in Singapore, she hugged me like she'd never let go and then asked, " Nenek, when are you going back?" So I told her, Monday and she said, counting her fingers, "We only got 3 days nenek!" Quickly her father told her - "But we are visiting nenek in March so we'll see her again,ok?"



Sophie with Pixel



then the impish smile came on and she said happily, "Today for dinner I'm going to sit between Nenek and Auntie Sarah!"

The next day we went to the Universal Studios where she insisted she only sat next to Auntie Sarah.

Here you can see her eating with chopsticks

( "Nenek, don't you know how to eat with chopsticks?" was her comment when I asked for a spoon and fork!)

Her imagination is boundless - her favourite topic is still Totoro, the imaginary cartoon character from a Japanese children's anime. At the Universal Studios store she was eyeing a stationary set and when I asked her whether she wanted it, said " Totoro already bought it for me! But he didn't buy me the Woody Woodpecker." She never said she wanted it, but we all knew that she did.

and a cheeky smile says it all

I try to keep in touch by phone but its a media that Sophie is not really in favor of - she has her moods - sometimes she'll talk and most times she'll just say "No," very decidely. I know that she's not being rude, just a child's way of saying, I guess. when are you visiting me!

I look forward to meeting her again next weekend when Rizal comes over to Malacca. It is just fascinating listening to her talk - better than an adult at times.

" Troy was supposed to come today you know, but he didn't manage to come at the last minute!"

Even my university students wouldn't be able to put together such words - didn't manage to come at the last minute! Where on earth did she pick up such sophisticated language I wonder. From her mum probably. And lastly here is a picture of her drawing - sent to us by her mum via Fb:

Sophia's masterpiece

Explanation for the above - "That's daddy with me, and the  centre one is our apartment. The two cats are not ours - Pixel is too fat so I put him behind . The two women is Jonah and her friend"

"Where's mummy in the picture?"

"Mummy is not in the picture - you are in the office. Today Daddy is with me."

What did you do this weekend?

Sophia, 

What did you do this weekend is hosted by Gattina.
Last weekend I visited my son and daughter in law in Singapore! We do this every month - if they didn't come to KL, then we'd go down to Singapore just to see our little grand daughter Sophia!  Today I played  at tea time with her two favourite toys - Mew Mew and Blue! 

Trying to get Blue to sit properly.

"Here you are Blue - one sugar for your tea!"

Sophia is now nearly 4 - she'll be four this July - and is a real chatterbox! She talked non-stop on the way to Jurong to visit my younger sister and again on the way back, both ways which took 2 hours! Not just non-stop, but in her inimical loud and piercing voice, telling all and sundry what she thought of the train, her two friends (Mew Mew and Blue who followed us) and whatever else caught her fancy.

While there we saw the network coverage of the Japanese Earthquake and Tsunami which devastated the town of Sendai , about 250km north of Tokyo. It was a heartbreaking and pitiful sight - huge buildings, cars, even trains swept away like matchbox toys in the huge waves. I pray for the lives of those people and hope whatever happens they remain strong and resilient.

Sophia

Sophie and Pixel (in one of her better moments)

Sophie with her grandfather on raya day

She's getting better now - at least she'll answer when I call her on the phone. The other day she said, "Nenek, I'm going back to Singapore already..." which is a vast improvement on our phone conversations. Previously she would only say "Bye!"

some pictures of Sophia

Sophie - all smiles

Back in Singapore

We're having a wonderful weekend now visiting my grand daughter in Singapore. Rizal our son has gone off to Mumbai for a conference so we decided to go over and keep Pohling company. Sophia is a real chatterbox these days - she can talk non stop for hours. She talks to her toys, to her imaginary friend Totoro and to her grand father! I took a video of her "cooking" broccolli for Thomas the train and Totoro. She's a very imaginative child and has an exceptional vocabulary for a 30 month old toddler. I'll have to ask Wan how to upload it to this site later!

My grand daughter, Sophia Meiyin

I miss that girl , I really do even if she sometimes think of me more as the stranger whose house they visit sometimes. Just reading about her going to independent play group in Poh Lin's blog bring home the feeling that our grand daughter is so far way and growing up. Now she's going to play school, soon she'll be in kindergarten... and one day we'll be surprised that she has grown up. I worry that she may not know us - and not love us perhaps.

Reading about her antics I wish we can just go over to Singapore and visit them. How she must have grown now. I love how she plays with her toys and talk to them as if they are real people. I suppose to an imaginative child like her, Totoro the grey soft toy, is real. She talks to Totoro and plays with him, feeds him, scolds him and nags him. Her speech if you really listen is very adult, with all the nuances of adult speech. The things she says surprises me - she is so clever and knowledgeable. At 2 years and 7 months she can tell the difference between a plant and a flower, a plane and a helicopter ( just from the sounds each makes). Sigh... we really need to make time from our busy schedule and pay them a visit - reading about her antics on my daughter in law's blog is not the same as watching her antics and being part of them.

Visiting the little one

Sophia, now 2 and a half years old is very vocal and has a wide range of vocabulary. She speaks in perfect sentences - "Are we not taking this train mummy?" is just one example of her sentences. Sometimes she breaks into song as she did when we were on our way to Fidgets, a children's amusement gym cum playground. She was singing loudly in the taxi - in Japanese no less, and the Totoro theme song from the Japanese anime - Totoro. I know I sound like the doting grandma who thinks her grand child is perfect but actually I'm being very subjective! Ha ha! I love listening to her conversations - she talks to her toys as well as Totoro, the soft toy and imaginary Totoro always lurking outside. She calls him on the phone and asks him questions. This is a typical conversation: 

 "Hello Totoro, what are you doing?" 

She listens, as if listening to his answer and then says,"Really... ? Are you buying groceries?"

Then she looks at us and in a matter of fact way tells us," Totoro is going to the shop. He's buying groceries."

I ask,"What is Totoro buying?"

"Pasta and noodles," she answers promptly. Pasta and noodles are her favourite foods.

Sometimes Totoro will go to the library, which is also her favourite place. When you ask her what Totoro is doing there, her answer will be," Borrowing books!"

Whenever we go out  she sees Totoro everywhere. Sometimes he's on the tree tops, sometimes in the bus, sometimes walking with his umbrella. She is so imaginative and creative.  She used to love doing  jigsaw puzzles but right now she's off jigsaw puzzles and in love with Charlie and Lola - a British television series about a 4-year-old girl and her big brother Charlie. She would sit through the cartoon quietly. I notice that much of her speech patterns is imitated from this show - very British indeed. 

by train to Singapore

Since it had been some time we hadn't seen Sophie, Repin and I decided to go over to Singapore to spend the weekend with Rizal and Poh Ling. To save time we decided to take the night train - we journey late in the evening and arrive early in the morning of the next day - Friday. So at least we'd have two whole days with them before going back to KL on Sunday.

I hadn't taken the train for ages - the last time was somewhere in the mid 90s when Sarah was just 5 years old. The compartment we were in was L5 and Repin had taken two sleeping berths, opposite each other. Surprisingly it was fairly comfortable. There was a narrow bed with a pillow and a blanket even! The coach was air conditioned so it was a very comfortable ride for only half the amount we normally paid for the bus fare - RM133 for two people, return. Is that cheap or what!

By the time the train moved out of the station I was already lulled by the slow undulating movements. Since this was the night train there was no buffet car and both Repin and I had stocked ourselves with drinks and snacks as well as books if we could not sleep. It was a long and slow journey, but if you have plenty of time it's a good one. The movement of the train and the sound of the engines had a kind of soporific effect and Repin said by the time we arrived in Seremban, I was already snoring away in dreamland!

Early the next day we arrived at the causeway and the Immigration checkpoint in Singapore. Before that the Malaysian Immigration officers had boarded the train in Johore and had checked our passports, so we only had to get our passports stamped by the Singapore Immigration. By 8 am we were already at the Tanjong Pagar Railway Station. I went to the toilets there to have a quick wash and comb my hair, then we had breakfast at the mamak stall inside the station. The food was quite delicious - capati with kheema and a mug of hot milk tea - teh tarik! Replenished and fresh we then walked out through the main hall and was pleasantly surprised to see that the main hall is really great. A high roof with large murals decorating the walls, it reminded me of the big station at Paddington. Indeed it was built during Queen Victoria's reign so the architecture is rather Victorian. What was even more surprising is the large sign on the front entrance - FMSR - Federated Malay States Railway - one of the few signs of British occupancy that had not been obliterated by our Malaysian government. This is a bit of history that should be preserved I think.

Back in Singapore

I'm back again visiting my little grand daughter in Singapore - our very own two-year-old imp. Its not just visiting Sophia that I look forward to but Singapore itself. I've always admired its greenness and garden-like quality. Its true that Singapore is a very modern city but every time I come here I am drawn again and again to its beauty. Not just the huge trees that one can see everywhere along the roads (and which are decidely absent in many of Malaysia's towns) but also the mature trees in all its housing estates. The huge rain trees along the roads are well maintained and there are flowers everywhere, mainly bougainvilea. It's not that Malaysia is so different in climate and terrain that we cannot have the same trees and the same flowers. But Malaysia does not not appreciate a tree, or at least I think the government does not. What ever trees we have in Kuala Lumpur are always cut and destroyed - to make way for roads, for new housing developments and for the ubiquitous plantations. Unlike Singapore, we cut down trees like its nobody's business but our own and for what - to widen a hitherto narrow road!

And of course the bonus is to be with my little chatter box of a grand daughter. Sophia is now two and a bit, and getting to be very talkative and interesting. She's very imaginative and can tell you stories about her Totoro ( a Japanese soft toy) about everyday activities in her own life and about her parents. Listening to her talk I am amazed that she can use words like difficult, wonderful, hexagon, showerhead. She loves jigsaw puzzles and can do a 30 or 40 piece puzzle in minutes. She has this big puzzle of Totoro with Mei and Satsuki, which she enjoys doing with us. If I put a piece in wrongly,she'll tell me, " That's wrong nenek! That piece doesn't go there!" and she would put the piece in its right place. I think for a two year old she is very advanced. The other day she told me - "Nenek look we have a new showerhead! Mummy and me went to buy it and Kong Kong (her other grandfather on the Chinese side) fixed it for us!" She says things like " I'm going to the library, Nenek" and which 2 year old will tell you she's going to the library? I think only Sophia does that.
Sometimes while playing in the living room she'll run to the kitchen to see what Jona the Filipino helper is doing. Then she'll ask: "Are you okay Jona? Be careful when you use the knife!" sounding so adult you just had to laugh!

At home with Sara

Actually Sara's been home for more than a week. She came back last week on Monday, looking tired, pockmarked with acne and happy to be home at last. The last semester she said was a real torture chamber and I told her 5th year is going to be worse. She agreed dejectedly, then like mercury changed the topic and talked instead of what she is going to do during these 6-7 weeks of home leave.
Thursday was Sophie's birthday. My grand daughter is now 2 years old! When we saw her today she was wearing her favourite green dress - she looked so cute! And not as talkative as before although she did call me and asked "where is datok?" She refused to talk to Sara at first but a half hour later was persuaded to sit on "Auntie Sara's" lap and be read to.
Sophie's birthday party was only held on Saturday - so that everybody could attend. We made fried bee hoon and vegetarian curry puffs. I was surprised that we received a number of compliments on both because I always thought that being vegetarian it wouldnt be tasty! I guess I was proven wrong - according to Rizal's friends the vegetarian bee hoon was really delicious. Sadly for Sophie though she had a little accident due to the lighter used for lighting the birthday candles, burnt her cheek and for a while there were only screams of pain. I remember during last year's birthday celebration she also had a little incident in which she fell on her face. Poor little baby. I just hope there won't be scars. But apart from that the birthday party went well though we could not stay long. Immediately after that we had to rush back to Malacca.

Conversations with Sophia

My grand daughter is a terrific conversationalist. Yes... you'll wonder what a 23 month old toddler has to say. This is part of her conversation with me today. I'd gone to her house to pay her a visit after class and lucky for me she had not taken her afternoon nap yet. First thing she did once I had sat down beside her was to tell me - "Nenek read book."
"okay," I said. "What book do you want to read?" I showed her the ones that were lying on the table. At each one she shook her head. "Thomas," she said. I looked through and sure enough there's one on Thomas the train engine. After going through that book and pointing to me all the hiding places of Thomas and friends, she wanted "another book". She speaks quite clearly and cand easily be understood. No baby talk for her. In fact when Jona the Filipino maid told her that she could tell Sophie a story, she told Jona in no uncertain terms - "Jona don know how!"
We then went through all her favourite books after which time Jona told her she has to take her nap. Our little princess shook her head and said clearly, "Doh wan!" Next she climbed the chair next to the sofa and stood on the arms, balancing herself against the wall.
" Sophia so high" was her next comment.
Yes, I said, but be careful. You'll fall.
"Sophia so high now. Oh Oh... Sophia too high, Sophia cannot climb down."
This is said with glee... she knows she's being naughty but enjoys the sensation.
The maid tries to get her to climb down from the chair but the intrepid climber refuses, repeating, "Sophia too high... Sophia stuck! Sophia cannot come down! Sophia stuck because Sophia too high. Sophia cannot come down."
All this is said with great relish. The emphasis is on the word "stuck". That she had the word in her vocabulary amazes me. That she could use cause and effect clearly astounds me. This little girl is one fast learner. I wonder what she'll be able to say once she can master language.
She understands most words and recognises most of the animals in her picture books. While reading her the book on farm animals I showed her a picture of a cow and said - Is that a pig? She looked at me in surprise as if to say -"How can you not know?" and told me rather disdainfully - "Nooo... that's a cow!" Yes, she can say "that's" and many of my university kids can't even use that, often saying phrases like"that's means..."

She can count from 1 to 10 and understands the mathematics of it. I'm not bragging, just amazed.For example she knows how many is 2 0r 3. "Sophia has 2 ears. Pooh bear has 2 ears too." Then looking at me ,"Nenek also have 2 ears."
Yes darling... all the better to hear you talk.

Sophia

My grand daughter is now 21 months old and talking in sentences! Wow! and I haven't seen her for months! This is her picture, taken a few months ago when she was 16 months. Isn't she a charmer?

My pretty grand daughter!

watching the teletubbies

Sassy in her flowered hat

Sophie enjoying her bath

Sophia

Trying to seduce Pixel into letting her "comb " him.

"Reading" her tellytubby magazine

"Hi Lala!"

I didn't want to post anything initially - just lie low for a few days until the new year.But then I got some new pictures of Sophia, my grand daughter. She's very much into the tellytubbies right now and loves them so much will watch a programme right through. In fact the moment you switch on the tv she'll hand you the remote and in her own inimitable way tells you to turn on the dvd. Then she'll pass you her tellytubby tape and insist that you switch it on. This has been going on for the past few months - this teletubby fixation. She laughs out loud and nods happily at the antic of the tellytubbies. So when her dad went to Dubai recently he bought her Lala, the yellow tubby. It's now her favourite friend.

Sophia

Today I'm looking after Sophia for a while. Rizal and Poh ling have gone to see a musical. I was a bit apprehensive at first wondering if she would cry for her mummy but after a few tears in the beginning she settled down and we hyad a fairly fun time together playing games.

Here are some pictures of her at the playground downstairs.

Sophia at 14 months

And her generous smile See her cheeky face ! Engrossed in mum's purse

Sophie is now 14 months, almost 15 months old. Its amazing how much she has learnt in just a few weeks.

She definitely knows what she wants and shakes her head if it isnt what she wants. Loves books, Disney playhouse, Teletubbies and Noddy. Enjoys music. She goes to some gym thing to learn how to play and to mix with other kids and enjoys the pool. I think she's really the greatest kid anyone can have.

Sophia

Aaah my cucu is back in KL and here I am in Melaka. If I could sprout wings I'd fly back in an instant. But patience my heart... I'll see her cheeky smiling face with its wide smile soon enough. I don't know what it is with grandparents and their cucu. Repin is like play dough in Sophie's hands. He'd let her do anything with him - even pull his hair, upset his glasses, turn his pockets inside out. My heart is so full when I see her. I can't even say she is so cute because I know Rizal and Sarah were cuter at that age. Wan was a little devil but a good looking one and Shasha, for all her lack of hair was cute too. I guess its just that here is a little piece of you - one you didnt make yourself, and one you are not responsible for so you can just love this little piece of you as much as you want and spoil them too.

I think Poh lin is a good mum - she won't spoil Sophie that's for sure. And the little one is so smart for a one year old. Here's a video that Repin took of her on her birthday last month.

As for my garden - they're all looking rather wiltd right now. My roses have caught a disease - reminds me of that Blake poem - Oh rose thou art sick....makes feel kind of sick too, seeing the blighted leaves and the pretty little buds becoming brown and falling off before thy can bloom.

On other matters - to morrow I'll be giving a talk in Seremban. It's on testing and evaluation. I know its my own field but I still get the jitters before a talk. How ever ready I am, I stll feel anxious every time. And these are not only English teachers but also other subjects. I'll do the first part on Fundamentals of Testing and then do a workshop after that. Its less taxing that was.

Haven't seen Chia for a long time too - years I think. The last time was in 2005 when I was still working I think , so this workshop will be a chance for us to catch up. I didn't realise he had transferred to Mantin - thought he was still in Ampangan.

Visiting Sophia Meiyin

Water baby and Daddy Water baby

We set out for Singapore on Friday. Our vehicle of choice is once again the Odyssey. I think I must be really tired because I slept practically the whole way. I wasn't even aware when we reached Johor but woke up at the Pagoh rest area. What can I say except that the bus was comfortable?
We arrived in Vistaya View, Rizal's apartment somewhere past midnight but he was waiting for us with some pizza for supper. In spite of the late hour, I gobbled down two slices. Slept around two I think.

Was woken up by Sophie's chatter so went out to see her. She hasn't really changed that much but is getting taller and cleverer too. She'll be one year old in two weeks time and yet even now she can communicate with her parents in her own way, for example if she wants a bath, she'll crawl to the bathroom, sit in front of the door and say "ba" in a way that says in very clear terms that she thinks she ought to have a bath now. THis little one sure knows her own mind.

Later that day we went out to Sentosa Island for an outing. Just the journey is interesting enough. We took a train to the harbour at Telok Blangah, then a monorail crossing to the island. Stopped at the beach station and walked along the beach path to the Underwater World. I find the whole island pretty fascinating. Lovely beaches, and yet cool dense woods. A tram to take you around the island as well as a cable car ride up the hill for a stupendous view of the island. Unfortunately it rained, though it by no means spoiled my day. We took shelter at one of the numerous tram stops and waited for the shower to stop. I watched the people around me - mostly foreign tourists having fun. Its funny - we have so many islands in Malaysia. Beautiful unspoiled islands with soft white sand, and yet we could not create an island with one main purpose - entertainment. Of course we have Langkawi and Tioman and Pangkor but I think Singapore has achieved something wonderful here - a family entertainment centre with all the trimmings. And as the taxi man told me later, once the Gentings World Resort is completed in 2010, it'll be The Entertainment centre of the area. We have most things that Singapore has, but its like we are the poor relation - everything is paler compared to Singapore, which shines like a polished jewel. This is only my opinion anyway. Others may not think as I do, but we do need proper maintenance of our beautiful beaches, and we need to improve everything, our transport system especially.

Sophia

I'm looking after Sophia today since her mum has a director's board meeting. She's really growing up fast, becoming quite cheeky and also naughty. Now almost 10 months old, she can stand for a whole minute without support and will walk all around the sofa with support. She crawls pretty fast too and if I had to look after her alone as I did the other day I think I'd be exhausted by end of day. Today my maid came along, to take care of her for a while when I go to the university to collect some materials that Wendy asked me to collect.
When we arrived at Parkville she'd just had her bath and mom was dressing her with difficulty. This little one can squiggle like the proverbial eel. Its almost impossible to put on the cloth diaper on her so I normally use the disposables to be quick. She's a good eater too, not fussy like Rizal at that age. Pohling unlike many modern mums, cooks the food herself, for example rice porridge cooked with fish and vegetables or mashed potatoes. Sometimes our girl eats porridge cooked with bits of salmon, or little bits of chicken in them. Its really enjoyable just watching her eat and she is often quite impatient if you are slow. First she'll give a little Ehmm.. to show that she's waiting and if that doesn't work she'll give a very loud reminder that you are late. She enjoys finger foods and will bite (or suck) on it until it disappears - to keep her quiet her mum often gives her biscuits to hold as in pic.

Even though she's still so young I can see that she loves books and will spend a long time looking at pictures in her picture books. She also loves to listen to music, listening intently when you play her any song, sometimes rocking herself in time to the beat. She's quite easily entertained and is a happy child. I think Pohling is doing a good job of bringing up a healthy, happy baby. From what I can see Sophia is going to be as articulate and as intelligent as her parents.

More Sophie pictures

Here is my little cutie pie! She's now 8 months old and really cheeky too